They look like stuffed animals with horns. That's the trap.
FLUFFYCOW is for everyone who's ever watched a tourist creep in for the selfie while a 2,000-pound wild animal decides how the day ends. The rangers call them fluffy cows because that's exactly how people treat them — right up until they're airborne.
This one's not aspirational. It's a warning with a punchline — which turns out to be you if you're close enough.
Bella+Canvas 3001 premium tee. Bangarang helm on the chest. Full FLUFFYCOW back print in photoreal splash art. Built to wear on the ground and, if you don't read the signs, briefly above it.
Power is First. Control, Second. Safety Third.
Always Trust Your Gear. Never Give Up on Your Goals.
Stay 25 yards back. Or don't. Someone will get it on video.
